moving over after death and divorce

Cecil got sick in April and died on the 17th. I was left alone in my king size bed, huddled on the right side. I cried. And I cried. I convinced my cat to sleep with me. But he didn't take up enough space.
One night I decided that I should move over. I was reading and slid into the center. But the table lamp wasn't bright enough. So I brought a reading light upstairs, and hooked it on the headboard. I moved over and began reading. I fell asleep after a little bit, and awoke a few hours later. And that's when it hit me! I was sleeping in the middle of the bed.